Summer Break
Hi friends. I’m very tired and burnt out and relatively sad, but fortunately, I’m taking all of June off. First, I’m going to Indiana, where I will practice my new driving skills. Then I’m going to British Columbia for three weeks, and then I’m going to a wedding in Alaska. I think it will be excellent, and I will return a Tesla-owner (just kidding. Well, idk. Would everyone make fun of me if I did?).
The good news is that part of why I’m burnt out is that I’ve been very busy with work, which is better than not being busy with work, but not as good as having a dependably manageable amount of work. As I’m sure you know, my second book is out now. I’d love if you bought it, or told a friend about it, or told you bookstore about it, or requested it from your local lib, or reviewed it on Amazon, or just generally sat with the concept of “book” for a moment. Whitney Cummings liked it, so maybe you will too? We shall see.
My stand up hour got a monthly run at Caveat in NYC - the next show there is July 23rd. The earlier people get tickets, the more relaxed I am. But no pressure. Well, okay, maybe a little pressure. I’m also doing it in Baltimore on 7/14, and I’m doing a reading of my book in DC on July 15th. If you’re undecided on which event to attend, do the stand up show. Stand up is much funnier than book reading. If you’ve already seen the show and enjoyed it, tell a friend! I’m pretty sure the most effective way to spread anything is via word of mouth (I was going to make an STD joke but it seemed too obvious so I’ll let you fill in the blanks).
Also, I’m the new host of a podcast coming out this summer (or maybe fall…). I’ve been working with Novel Podcasts on it for a while, and it’s going to be very fun. If you have a crazy story about a date/relationship that truly gets to the heart of what it’s like to be a person dating in the year 2022 or has some wild mystery element, please email me at ginny5hogan@gmail.com. We’re looking for guests!
If you want (a sample of) my book or to see any of my shows and you’re tight on cash, hit me up on Twitter and we will make it work. On the flip side, if you’d like to give me money for basically nothing, I started a Patreon. If you read through the tiers, you might understand why someone on Instagram called it my “Creative OnlyFans.” So far, all but one of my Patrons are men, but I’m not - and you can quote me on this - selling nudes.
Here’s a New Yorker piece I wrote this month with my pals Jason & Julia. For a book rec, I was truly on the edge of my seat with “The Wife Between Us.” I think thrillers are my summer genre.
Love you guys xoxox
here’s a satire piece that my friend Dan Rosen drew a few pictures for:
If Going to the Doctor Were as Easy as My Doctor Seems to Think It Is
Another productive day at the doctor’s! While Dr. Anders didn’t quite know the answer to my mysterious migraines, I’m well-equipped with 14 new referrals - he doesn’t want to rule anything out! Shouldn’t be a problem, though, as he assured me each new doctor is ready and willing to help us get to the bottom of this problem!
Hiiiii, Dr. Anders said he “faxed over my information.” I shouldn’t have to fill out any of these forms, I don’t think. Let me DM him on Instagram to confirm - I’m sure he’ll respond, as he says he’s very available to my needs.
I’m just going to swing by the cardiologist on the way home from work. He loves referrals from Dr. Anders, I hear. I’m sure he’ll welcome me with open arms and a seltzer (pamplemousse, probably). Definitely not a 4-hour wait, for heartache which - as I tried to explain to Dr. Anders, while he was texting with another patient - is metaphorical. But Dr. Anders has assured me we’ll get to the bottom of my migraines, and this is a necessary step.
No, my foot pain is very minor, but Dr. Anders recommended I see the podiatrist, since he really wants us to get to the bottom of the migraines which are, incidentally, getting worse. He thinks it could be related to my headaches, because the body is actually extremely interconnected, via bones (his words).
Hi, Mr. Optometrist. I don’t exactly know why I’m here, but Dr. Anders did mention you’d figure out my “insurance stuff” for me. Surely that means you’ll make sure they pay for it, right? Not that you’ll alert my insurance to send me a bill for $8931 in seven months? Because I really can’t handle that, not with my migraines getting worse by the day.
Hey, thanks for having me! Dr. Anders told me to just pop by and get a little surgery, “just in case” the reason for my migraines is too much cartilage in my knee. I know this is elective surgery, which I have to assume is a good thing, as “electives” are what helped me get into college. Speaking of college…I think that’s the last time I felt good physically.
Hi, I told Dr. Anders I was terribly claustrophobic, and he said you’d figure something out with the MRI machine. Maybe instead, I could take a selfie? You can look at it really closely. MRI - Made Rith iPhone. Can you work fast, though? I’m unable to look at a screen because of the head pain, and I’m in danger of soon losing my job. I have one of those “screen jobs.” But you have to help me - Dr. Anders promised me 17 times that we would get to the bottom of this!
Hi, my head feels like it’s about to split itself open 29 hours/day. I only saw Dr. Anders for 90 seconds, and you are the last of the 73 doctors he referred me to. But you must, must, must solve the problem - Dr. Anders promised. Here’s my question: my entire life has fallen apart. Okay, that’s not a question, but I’ve lost the capacity to think critically. Dr. Anders did say my migraines were probably just anxiety (I am a woman). So, since no one else has “gotten to the bottom of things,” I must ask you this - can I have a Xanax prescription?
Well, at least now I have Xanax. So, in that sense, Dr. Anders did help me!