I Got A Cat

Hi friends! For those of you who don’t follow me on social media or didn’t read the header of this newsletter, I got a cat. I didn’t really want him & didn’t think I’d keep him, but then I fell in love, which is, unfortunately, the type of story Matt Gaetz would use to argue for limiting reproductive freedoms. Isn’t he so creepy? (Cat & Matt Gaetz). I love him so much (just cat).

But this newsletter isn’t about Brian. It’s about me. That’s why it’s MY name on it.

Some big stand up announcements—my next NYC show is TUESDAY! And you can use code TWITTERFRIEND for $5 off. Also, my Edinburgh show link is now live—if you’re coming to Scotland this summer, get tickets here! And if you come to any of my shows, be sure to say hi after!

Writing writing writing updates. I now have a daily column for Forbes with lots of tips for freelancers. I’ve begun writing for Betches, one of my all-time favorite orgs. Jason Adam Katzenstein & I pitched some ideas to Ron DeSantis in The New Yorker. And I made fun of Elon Musk’s blue checkmark system, even though I’m desperate to get one. If anyone knows Elon, please please please ask him. I’ll do literally anything, except pay $8. I wrote for Men’s Health about the Daytime TV Doctor (farewell, Philly). I also cleared out my Google Drive this week and put a lot of old pieces on Medium.

The best thing I wrote this month isn’t out yet, but it is a review of Josh Hawley’s book on manhood. The intersection in the Venn Diagram of people who wanted an early copy of Josh’s book & people who got one is just me. Overjoyed. I’ll send that out when I have it. If I can ruin one piece of the book for you, it’s this: Josh Hawley thinks “hoo ha” means “commotion.” That’s not my cultural understanding of the term—though mine has been known to cause one.

I’m also having the best time with my new podcast, Raising Questions. I feel so grateful for all my guests—people who are willing to come talk to a stranger about the most personal of topics. Everyone’s been so warm & honest & vulnerable, and not one person has gotten mad at me for prying. And I pry. I mean, I routinely ask parents if they ever considered terminating their pregnancies—but that’s kinda the point of the show! Listen now on Apple & Spotify, and please leave a review. Also, let me know if you’d like to come on! I’m shifting it slightly, but I still want to talk to anyone willing to bear their souls to me.

Also, if I started a weekly newsletter of political humor, would you subscribe? lmk…

Last but not least, have some satire, I wrote this with my dear friend Julia Edelman. Apologies if I sent this two months in a row—I’m not sure my last newsletter sent.

The Good News

By Ginny Hogan & Julia Edelman

Some days, it feels like there’s nothing but bad news. But don’t let it get you down - there’s definitely some good news. 

• Low-rise jeans don’t seem to be making the comeback they threatened.

• We’re definitely not suffering deflation.

• Your pet fish died after six years, but you needed the counter space anyway, since your new apartment is tiny.

• You got COVID, but your mask covers all your stress acne! 

• This apartment has no AC, so your carbon footprint is lower. 

• It’s not snowing! I mean, sure, it’s August, but still. Snowman time is snowman time!

• Your ex-boyfriend lives in your building, but at least he’s not physically inside your apartment. That would be triggering!

• Your mom didn’t sell all your beanie babies, just the most valuable ones.

• Turns out, your ex is your new landlord, but at least he was always very handy with his tools (like, his hardware tools). He can fix that clogged toilet! Not to be gross, but you did eat the ice cream off the ground.

• You can get a tax credit for an electric vehicle, if you just manage to save $40k to buy one.

• You have bed bugs, but your apartment is not on fire. Which is amazing, considering the lack of AC.

• You have no 401k, but 401k’s dramatically dropped in value anyway, so this is for the best. Not having a 401k is basically the equivalent of a part-time job, in this economy. Use those savings to buy an EV!

• Your ex is now back in your apartment to fix the bed bugs. But at least there’s no risk you’ll accidentally sleep with him (there’s only one bed, and it’s…well…compromised)

• There’s a lot for journalists to write about. Maybe that’s a career to consider! 

• Your ex just asked if you dragged a mattress in off the street - he’s taking an interest in your life.

• Roe is gone, but the Democrats raised a lot of money. Did they do anything good with it? Remains to be seen. But they raised it!

• He’s informed you the bed bugs are your fault and you will have to pay for them. But your financial situation is now such that you definitely have a good excuse for skipping your sister’s bachelorette party!

• Biden had that one good week.

• Your ex makes you remember how much happier you were when you shared an apartment with him. There’s really no good news to come out of this revelation. I guess it’s time to dig the bottom of the optimism barrel - your apartment is still not on fire.

• Oh, wait, your apartment is on fire. The good news, though, is it’s just because your whole city is on fire - it’s not because of anyone targeting you, specifically. Now you get to feel like part of something!

• Plus, at least it killed the bed bugs

If you enjoy this newsletter or any of my content, please share it with a friend! Love you guys

xox

Ginny