Hey everyone! Thanks for being here. I hope you’re having a good month so far. My month is a little bit crazy because I’m in the process of moving. I say “process” because my new apartment doesn’t have heat & it’s been v difficult to set up. It’s radicalized me even further to the dangers of our reliance on gas. I’d love to go electric. Almost as much as I’d love to be warm at this exact moment in time.
Anyway, I’m also very busy work-wise, which is good. I’ve written a few things since we last spoke - an essay about my exes in Slate, some satire with my dear friend Julia Edelman, and a New Yorker essay on the perils of home-ownership.
In even more exciting news, I got into a great venue at Edinburgh, so I’m definitely definitely definitely going. I’m so grateful to everyone who contributed to my Kickstarter, and everyone who’s lent their support at all. If you’d like to come see the new version, which features some very funny charts and is directed by the very incredible Hanna Dickinson, come to Caveat in NYC Feb 28th. I’m also performing in Mystic CT on the 25th. If you live anywhere near there and want to come, email me and I can get you on the list (it’s at a hotel, I believe).
A sample hilarious chart:
I’ve also started recording a new podcast (my first unscripted one!) in which I engage in my favorite activity of prying into people’s lives. I’m asking people about the five years before they decided to have or not have children. If you want to come on, let me know! I’m so obsessed with the editing software that I think I may have to start 6 more podcasts. Would you listen to one about psychological thriller novels? I hope so. And until then, have some satire!
An Exhaustive List of Times I’m Not Exerting Willpower
When I’m eating carbs.
The twelve seconds after giving myself an orgasm.
When I’m in a bath at the perfect temperature, for the 14 seconds before my body adjusts and I’m cold again.
During a massage, minus the armpit part when I’m tensing.
The 20 minutes after sending a difficult email, in which my brain is so fried I don’t even try to focus. I’m finally free.
In therapy, which my therapist says is not good.
When I’m in a state of “flow.” Or at least, I imagine I wouldn’t exert willpower in a state of flow - I’ve never actually been in one.
The moments after I finally get a seat on a crowded subway car, 30 seconds before I have to stand back up again to get off.
When I’ve read enough about climate change that I’ve accepted my fate. Turns out, the hard part is feeling like my choices matter.
Listening to music, but with my eyes closed.
When I’m watching TV, but with my eyes closed.
When I’m reading a book, but with my eyes closed. No, I don’t make too much progress on the book-front, but at least it’s easy.
The two seconds of my family dinner in which I’m eating carbs and no one is asking me if I’ve considered freezing my eggs. Also, when I have my eyes closed.
When I’m making erotic eye contact with my lover, but with my eyes closed.
The time between me starting to shut my eyes and me realizing I will have to once again open them.
When I’m unsure if I’m asleep or awake. This is a very pleasant sensation, until I gain just enough consciousness that I realize I’m supposed to be sleeping more deeply than I am, and my FitBit is going to remind me in the morning that I had far too much “light” sleep, not enough REM sleep. So, as if being awake didn’t already require enough willpower, being awake when a wearable device has told me I failed at doing one of the three things I’m biologically programmed to do requires is pure hell. Okay, now that I think about it, the time when I’m unsure if I’m asleep or awake is a ton of work. Scratch this one.
When I’m under anesthesia, with my eyes closed.
But - you know - strong anesthesia.
xox
Ginny