Book Launch Parties - SF, Atlanta, NYC, Baltimore, Boston, DC
Okay, last time I tricked you, but TODAY IS THE DAY!! I’m More Dateable than a Plate of Refried Beans is now officially out. If you preordered, you’ve probably already received it. If you haven’t, order it now and skip over the whole ‘pre’ part of the situation.
I’m so grateful we’ve gotten a little bit of press so far. You can find more here or here or here - it’s a lot of excerpts from the books, so you can get a taste for it and see if you like it. If you’ve read it and loved it (or started it and…felt generally positive towards it) I’d love a review on Goodreads or Amazon. Amazon ratings in particular help a ton, since they’ll then recommend the book to other shoppers.
You can also come meet me at a reading! Book readings are way more fun than they sound. I do a little bit of reading, some stand up, and then we eat snacks and hang out. You might meet the love of your life! I mean, you probably won’t, statistically speaking. But you might! It’s an all-around blast!
Here are my readings. It’s helpful if you register ahead of time, because I am bringing snacks, and in some cases, the bookstores order books based on who registers. That said, if you forget to register, come anyway - there will be space and cookie (singular, if you don’t pre-register) for you. Here’s the schedule:
Atlanta: Vahi Books, 5/3 5:30 PM (with Hannah Aslesen)
San Francisco: Fabulosa Books, 5/4 6 pm (with Natasha Vinik)
NYC: Powerhouse Arena, 5/16 7pm
Boston: Trident Books, 7/11 7 pm (with Carlos Greaves)
DC: Politics and Prose, Union Market, 7/15 7pm
Baltimore: The Book Escape, 7/16 7 pm
Come hang out with me!!
So, also, another thing is I’m generally exhausted, poss because I’m promoting a book and a stand up show at the same time. BUT I love stand up, so what do you do. I had the best time ever doing my hour-long show, “I Finished My 20s and All I Got Was This Lousy Sobriety” in Atlanta two nights ago (many many many thanks to Hissy Fit Comedy for having me - if you’re in Atlanta go check them out!). Anyway, I’ve got two more dates for my hour books. If you’re in either of these cities, I’d love to see you!!
NYC: 5/14 Caveat 7pm
Baltimore: 7/14, 8pm, The Lou Room
If you’d like to come to the shows but the tickets are too expensive, DM me on Twitter/IG. Same goes for it you want my book, TBH.
Okay - one more word on this newsletter. I’ve been dependent on Twitter to tell people where I’m going to be performing. This is bad for several reasons - for one thing, a lot of you are leaving Twitter following Elon’s takeover, and I respect that. Also, I tweet a LOT, and I don’t want to force you to suffer through the ups and downs of my love life if you’re only interested in hearing about where I’m performing. SO - this newsletter is now the #1 place to find out where I’ll be. I’m launching a few writing projects this summer, and I’ll announce them here first. If you have a friend who’s not on Twitter, and you think they might like my work, please share it with them!
On that note, actually, if you love my book or my stand up shows, please share with a friend. It really means so much when people help me out via telling people about me! (but just about my work. Don’t, like, tell people about the crypto bro or anything. That’s private, just between us).
Okay, I gave you a lot of to-dos in this newsletter, and that’s on me. They say that those to whom much is given, much is to be expected, but they don’t warn you that, also, much is expected of you even if you’re not given a lot.
Love you xoxo
Ginny
PS Here’s some new satire. So sorry if I already shared this one. I am, as I mentioned, exhausted.
Rock Bottoms for People in Their 30s
How do you know when it’s time to stop drinking? Just because you don’t have an official drinking problem doesn’t mean your life wouldn’t be better off sans-booze. If you’re in your 30s, one of the following may be an indicator that it’s time to put down the bottle.
Having 1.5 beers and finding yourself unable to get out of bed in the morning.
Inhaling a glass of champagne, then telling a man at a housewarming that you’re down to read his screenplay. Or worse - novel.
Knocking back a Bud Light and looking at your credit card bill.
Downing half a bottle of white wine and admitting you have no idea what the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict is about even though you were an International Relations major in college (it was a long time ago. Like, a long time ago. Not long enough to predate the conflict, of course, but long enough to justify your memory giving out).
Guzzling a Truly and creating a TikTok.
Snorting enough Adderall to start your emails with “Just circling back…”
Tossing off an eggnog as you post on TikTok for the very first time #fyp #rip.
Swilling one glass of Prosecco then bargaining with the CVS employee for a discount on Rogaine. You’ll buy in bulk!
Eating a slice of bread and then skipping a first date because of nausea. At your age, gluten is a drug.
Imbibing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and then getting a middle-part because you saw on TikTok that it’s cool. It’s one of those things that’s only cool when they do it. Like Mike’s Hard Lemonade. God, if only you could make cool TikTok videos too. Maybe the middle-part will help.
Add TUMS to your Amazon “Subscribe & Save” order.
Brewing Irish Coffee while you figure out how to get big on social media. Then, take an Ambien to offset the caffeine in the Irish Coffee, and subsequently stumble upon the Caroline Calloway takedown piece, and decide she sounds pretty smart.
Swigging a tequila as you buy followers on TikTok.
Draining a kombucha (it’s not even alcoholic), and enjoying it so much that you start fermenting your own sauerkraut. Then, you eat it even though there’s definitely mold, because you just need to feel alive.
Going viral on TikTok for the video you took of yourself eating sauerkraut. You don’t need to be drinking for this to be a warning sign. At this point, it’s out of your hands.
Believing that the virality was because the teens enjoyed your wit and charm.
Frantically emailing your boss to give two weeks’ notice - this is your opening, if you’re ever to pursue a life of TikToking!
Reading the comments on the sauerkraut TikTok video. Shit. You should have done this earlier. They do not think you’re funny and talented. They think you’re dumb. The most liked comment is “what kind of idiot eats mold.” This is like high school, but worse, because you invited it. Plus, you now have food poisoning.
Returning to your old job. Fortunately, they’ll take you back, because they can’t find a Gen Z-er alive who’s willing to spend as much time in Excel as you are.
Celebrating your return to security and stability with 1.5 beers. Shit, you can’t get out of bed for work the next morning. Your 30s are hard.